Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Mall

Today I took a trip to Fashion Place Mall (Rob's birthday is next week :). I don't go to the mall very often, but when I do I am reminded of the things I could do without. I guess my biggest gripe is the kiosks.

As I was passing a mineral makeup kiosk, a salesgirl asked me something. I had to have her repeat it twice before I could understand a single word she was saying. Of course she was trying to sell her products to me and of course I wasn't going along with her plan. Here's what I got out of the experience:

-I had multiple colors of makeup smeared on the back of my hand. Not to worry; it comes off using a simple baby wipe! Great, now my hand can smell like baby powder for the next hour until I have a chance to wash it.

-Did you know that you can use a mixture of mineral eye shadow and Vaseline to make your own lipstick? Did you also know that the salesgirl is all too eager to smear the stuff all over you lips and/or teeth without asking your permission or telling you that she is going to be touching your face? When she did ask if she could put foundation on me, I flat out told her that I have a thing about people touching my face.

-You can mix a clear nail polish with mineral powder to make any color of nail polish you want . . . or don't want. Prime example: my purple thumbnail.

-The grand finale was the combination of ordinary lotion and their miracle powder to make a splotchy, strange bronzer cream (again, on the back of my hand).

The salespitch ended with an awkward silence between the two of us. I thanked the girl and vigorously wiped my lips as I walked away.

Moments later I had a man at a different kiosk try to sell me some lotion. I didn't even realize for a moment that he was talking to me because I was so focused on chipping away the nasty goop on my thumb. He asked if I wanted to try his lotion--it's from the ocean! I said no thanks, to which he repeated several times, "It's from the ocean!"

Oh!!--it's from the ocean! Why didn't you say so sooner?

Now I know what I'm getting for Rob's birthday.


Rtbd said...

I'm sure I'll love all my birthday presents. Just make sure they're from the ocean!!!!

R said...

Surprise! Secret Late-Nite Hidden Bloggins Comment XOXO